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class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_231070"> 1送你一份有屎以来，粪量最重的礼物，你一定会大吃一斤，还要多多饱含，如觉粪量不够还请自便！ <br /> <br /> 2肺活量自测小技巧：放完屁后，低头猛吸，然后观察周围之人有无闻到异味。如有，则须按此法加强锻炼；如无，则证明你乃超人！ <br /> <br /> 4海外旅游新线路——阿富汗七日游已隆重推出：住山洞，学习制造炸弹和逃亡本领，幸运者更有机会与拉登合影留念 <br /> <br /> 5爱已欠费，情已停机，缘份不在服务区；思也痛苦，想也伤心，何日缴费再开机？横批：梦想成真 <br /> <br /> 7跳楼须知：痛快到七楼，喘气到六楼，挣扎到五楼，残废到四楼，住院到三楼，吓人到二楼，看热闹到一楼。 <br /> <br /> 8那天你拿刀狂砍一头猪，猪逃进一个死胡同，只听猪跪地向你求饶：“本是同根生，相煎何太急！” <br /> <br /> 12读这讯息，你已欠我一个拥抱；删这讯息，欠我一个吻；存这讯息，欠我一个约会；要是回复，你欠我全部；要不回复，你就是我的 <br /> <br /> 14男人二十是半成品，三十是成品，四十是精品，五十是极品，六十是上品，七十是废品，八十是纪念品。 <br /> <br /> 18众人皆醒我独醉，心有灵犀最珍贵。邂逅真情爱不悔，今生只为你相随（秘密在每一句的第五个字） <br /> <br /> 22愿你一年365天天天开心，8760小时时时快乐，5256000分分分精彩，31536000秒秒秒幸福。 <br /> <br /> 25如果世界只剩10分钟，我会和你一同回忆走过的风风雨雨；如果世界只剩3分钟，我会深情地吻你；如果世界只剩1分钟，我会说60次我爱你。 <br /> <br /> 26我每天都是这样过的：和乔丹打打球，和泰森玩玩拳，和卫平下下棋，和克林顿聊聊绯闻，跟拉登炸炸楼，给猪发发短信 <br /> <br /> 27如果你的手机没有防水功能的话,看短信息时注意不要笑得把口水流到机子上,那会坏的! <br /> <br /> 28猜谜：天鹅湖边鸟飞绝，良无一点双人行。双木非林心相连，您若无心先自飞（打四字）…………谜底：我很想你 <br /> <br /> 36有一种默契叫做心有灵犀，有一种感觉叫做妙不可言，有一种幸福叫做有你相伴，有一种思念叫做度日如年 <br /> <br /> 39娶老婆应是小昭，交朋友应是令狐冲，做男儿最好是乔峰，出来混还是韦小宝。 <br /> <br /> 40馒头和面条打架，馒头被捧哭了，便回家叫上花卷包子去报仇，结果是方便面开门，馒头说：“你小子把头烫了，我也认得你！” <br /> <br /> 41有人说你是头笨驴，我严肃地批评了他：太不像话了！总不能人家长得像什么就说人家是什么吧 <br /> <br /> 44祝你一帆风顺二龙腾飞三羊开泰四季平安五福临门六六大顺七星高照八方来财九九同心十全十美百事亨通千事吉祥万事如意 <br /> <br /> 50考考你：世界上的猪一夜之间都死光了该怎么办？（打一歌名）………………《至少还有你》呀！ <br /> <br /> 51你长得很有创意，活着是你的勇气。丑并非你本意，只是上帝发了点脾气。你要勇敢地活下去，没了你，谁能衬托这世界的美丽 <br /> <br /> 52没有一个完全契合你的人，没有一段完美无缺的感情。大家合不合适，大家完不完美，都需要双方有所付出，有所牺牲，彼此去创造。 <br /> <br /> 53前世的五百次回眸，换来今生擦肩而过。如果真的是你，我愿万次与你相遇，能告诉你：“好想好好见你”。 <br /> <br /> 56秘诀：将手机用粽叶包好，放在锅里煮30分钟，手<a href="http://machine.oecr.com" target="_blank" class="relatedlink">机电</a>池待机时间将延长两倍，信号增强，而且打电话时能闻到粽子香味。 <br /> <br /> 57祝你：百事可乐！万事芬达！天天哇哈哈！月月乐百事！年年高乐高！心情似雪碧！永远都醒目！ <br /> <br /> 60跟你认识这么久了，你一直对我很关心，实在不晓得怎么报答你，下辈子做牛做马，我一定拔草给你吃！ <br /> <br /> 66如果你爱我，你就亲我一下，如果你不爱我，我就亲你一下，可以吧~~~ <br /> <br /> </td></tr></table> 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