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class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_25076"> <br /> [一]<br /> 小x又去逛鸟市。发现一只鹦鹉标价3元钱。<br /> 于是他就问卖主：您这只鹦鹉怎么这么便宜呀？<br /> <br /> 卖主：我这只鹦鹉笨！妈的我教了它好长时间了。到现在为止就只会说一句话--谁呀？<br /> <br /> 小x一想反正也便宜，于是就买下来了。<br /> <br /> 晚上到了家，他想 我就不信教不会你！，于是小x教了它一夜说别的话。<br /> <br /> 可是到了早晨，那只鹦鹉还是只会说谁呀？,于是小x一生气，锁上门去上班了。<br /> <br /> 过了一会，来了一个查收煤气费的（简称小z）。<br /> <br /> 小z，咚咚咚……（敲门声）<br /> <br /> 鹦鹉：谁呀？<br /> <br /> 小z：查煤气的。<br /> <br /> 鹦鹉：谁呀？<br /> <br /> 小z：查煤气的。<br /> <br /> 鹦鹉：谁呀？<br /> <br /> 小z：查煤气的。<br /> <br /> …………<br /> <br /> 到了晚上，小x回来了。看见家门口有个人躺在地上，口吐白沫。<br /> <br /> 小x：呦~！这是谁呀？<br /> <br /> 就听见屋里：查煤气的。<br /> <br /> [二]<br /> 有一位爱鸟人士他特别喜欢鹦鹉，有一天他经过一间鸟店发现里面正在拍卖一只鹦鹉，他看那只鹦鹉毛色很好看决定要买，于是他喊道：我愿意出10美金买下这只鹦鹉！<br /> 接着有人喊价：我愿意出20元美金！<br /> <br /> 那位爱鸟人士不愿把那只鹦鹉拱手让人，于是他又喊了30元……可是另一个声音像在跟他作对，一直到那位爱鸟人士叫了200元时才停……<br /> <br /> 那人买到鹦鹉很高兴，可是他突然想到：我花了那么多钱才买到这鹦鹉，如果它不会说话那我不就亏大了吗？？？<br /> <br /> 于是他就去问老板：老板……你这只鹦鹉会不会说话啊？？？？<br /> <br /> 接着他听到鹦鹉大叫：不会说话？！？！你以为刚刚是谁在跟你喊价啊？！？ <br /> <br /> [三]<br /> 一个小伙子在生日那天收到礼物，是一只会说话的鹦鹉。<br /> 可是很快发现这只鹦鹉满嘴脏话，非常粗鲁，而且根本不懂礼貌。<br /> <br /> 他决心改变鹦鹉。每天对它说礼貌用语，教它文雅的词汇，放轻柔的音乐，可是一点用也没有，鹦鹉仍是满嘴下流话。<br /> <br /> 他生气地冲着鹦鹉喊，鹦鹉冲着他喊得更响。<br /> <br /> 一次，他气极了，把鹦鹉扔进冰箱里。几秒种后，他听到鹦鹉在里面扑腾，叫喊，咒骂。<br /> <br /> 突然，安静下来了，一点声儿也没有。半分钟过去了，还是没声。<br /> <br /> 他担心鹦鹉给冻坏了，马上打开冰箱。<br /> <br /> 鹦鹉平静地走出来，乖乖地站到他胳膊上，用非常诚恳的口气说：很抱歉我惹你生气了，以前是我做得不对，我决定痛改前非，再不说脏话了，请你原谅我。<br /> <br /> 小伙子惊异于鹦鹉的转变，还没来得及说什么，鹦鹉接着说道：我能问问里面那只鸡做错了什么吗？ <br /> <br /> [四]<br /> 一天A先生心血来潮，想去买只会讲话的鸟回来养养,於是逛到一家鸟店去了,一进门就看到一只鹦鹉躺在笼子里,一动也不动,一只脚还挂在笼子上，正好奇想去问问老板时，看到笼子外面贴著一张纸,写著：<br /> 我没有生病<br /> <br /> 脚也没有受伤<br /> <br /> 更不是死掉<br /> <br /> 我就喜欢这样躺著<br /> <br /> A先生於是觉得这只鹦鹉满有个性的,就把它买回家....<br /> <br /> 接著一个礼拜,他每天教这只鹦鹉说话.....叫爸爸,叫爸爸可是它都没有反应，每天只会睡觉，经过两三个礼拜还是一样。这可惹火了他，就把它丢到鸡笼子去泄恨....<br /> <br /> 隔天去看时,只见鹦鹉抓著一只鸡说叫爸爸,叫爸爸........ <br /> <br /> [五]<br /> 一位魔术师在一艘小邮轮上工作，已有一两年的时间了。这两年来，他每个晚上有一样的秀场，观众们都喜欢他。<br /> 不过，因为观众群经常的更换，所以他也就不必要急着学新戏法了。<br /> <br /> 但是，几年下来，坐在后排的鹦鹉经过长期的观察，终于看出了魔术师戏法的破绽，开始当众拆穿魔术师的把戏。<br /> <br /> 举个例子，当魔术师把一束花变不见时，这只鹦鹉会大叫说：在他的后面！在他的后面！<br /> <br /> 这可弄得魔术师火冒三丈，可是他也束手无策。鹦鹉是船长的，他动不了它一根寒毛。<br /> <br /> 有一天，这艘船漏水，结果沉了。<br /> <br /> 魔术师设法游到一块飘在水面上的木板，然后抓住木板。这只鹦鹉正站在木板的另一端。<br /> <br /> 他们两个一路大眼瞪小眼的不说一句话。就这样在水上飘流三天。<br /> <br /> 就在第四天早晨，鹦鹉终于忍不住看着魔术师说：算了，我投降了，你到底把船变到那里去了！ <br /> <br /> [六]<br /> 一个老头坐在公共汽车上，这时走上来一个嬉皮士，他头发染成了红色、绿色、黄色、橙色...还戴着只羽毛耳环，嬉皮士看到老头在瞧他，就问：“嗨，怎麽啦，老头？你难道没做过发疯的事吗？”<br /> 老头回答：“是啊，有一次我干过一只鹦鹉，我还以为你是我的仔儿呢。”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> </td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_25076" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_25076"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> <div id="p_btn" class="mtw mbm hm cl"> <a href="http://club.oecr.com/home.php?mod=spacecp&ac=favorite&type=thread&id=3514&formhash=b941c019" id="k_favorite" onclick="showWindow(this.id, this.href, 'get', 0);" onmouseover="this.title = $('favoritenumber').innerHTML + ' 人收藏'" title="收藏本帖"><i><img 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