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id="authicon221236" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton221236">发表于 2004-12-29 20:24:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><style type="text/css">.pcb{margin-right:0}</style><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221236"> 2004年12月2日 星期四, 天气:莎莉 心情:花园 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 原谅，我，如此悲伤。 原谅，我，如此不看好我的生命。 你，知道不知道，其实，生命特别脆弱。 你，知道不知道，其实，生死只有一线之隔。 ——流泪之间 你，听苏格兰风笛么？悠扬的，婉转的，甚至是低回的。它象温热的夏日午后，在夕阳里掠过脚背的清凉流水。象是手边，轻风起时翻开的书页。象是那些纯粹的，完美的纤尘不染的落雪。 那么，让我闭起眼睛，仔细聆听，并且不要醒来。在黑暗里沉睡，沉睡…… 你看，我厌倦的事情太多了。你看，我喜欢的事情更多。 不要问我为什么悲伤。不是我不说，而，是，那样的忧伤我怎么对你说，而你又如何能够明白？我甚至都不敢对自己说明，我怕一说，就会即刻不能承受生命的轻。 越来越喜欢流水，漂泊，居无定所。 越来越喜欢海洋，沉静，可以吞噬所有的故事和心情，并且当它们腐烂在海洋深处的时候，海，不会腐烂。它只会幽雅的微笑。对着那些秘密或者隐密，全然不知。 其实，我真的很想在海边造一座房子，可以独自在海边，从日升坐到日落，从生到死。我不看春暖花开，不喂马，也不劈柴。我想安安静静的等待死亡。为什么，不让我得到一种不治的，严重的，可以随时至死的病痛呢？真不公平。没有人知道，死亡是一件多么伟大的幸福。 也许有一天，当我不再喜欢，也不再厌倦，我会变成一只绿毛水怪。在夜的天空与海底生存。不再与你为伍。也许，那样时候，将不能语言，不能歌唱，不能凝望。可是，又有什么呢？ 原谅我，如此悲伤。 原谅我，不明原因的悲伤，是因为特别美好的音乐，亦或因为生命的无常。 秋凉已过，冬夜，光着脚上网， 感觉骨与肉都在分离。感觉生命不能继续。 感觉，残缺那么美。 象是，那满地晃动的妩媚月影。 风凉，吹进眼睛的，都是无望。 不再张狂。以及，希望。 我要化做一潭死水。 住进那扇，去年，今日，的，窗。 其实，我如此热爱生命，爱到渴望死亡…… Down by the Salley Gardens My love and I did meet She passed the Salley Gardens With little snow-white feet She bid me take love easy As the leaves grow on the tree But I being young and foolish With her did not agree In a field by the river My love and I did stand And on my leaning shoulder She laid her snow-white hand She bid me take life easy As the grass grows on the weirs But I was young and foolish And now am full of tears Down by the Salley Gardens My love and I did meet She passed the Salley Gardens With little snow-white feet She bid me take love easy As the leaves grow on the tree But I being young and foolish With her did not agree</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_221236" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_221236"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition221236"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=221236&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', this.href)">回复</a> <a class="replyadd" href="forum.php?mod=misc&action=postreview&do=support&tid=6717&pid=221236&hash=1dfeb54a" onclick="showWindow('login', this.href)" onmouseover="this.title = ($('review_support_221236').innerHTML ? $('review_support_221236').innerHTML : 0) + ' 人 支持'">支持 <span id="review_support_221236"></span></a> <a class="replysubtract" href="forum.php?mod=misc&action=postreview&do=against&tid=6717&pid=221236&hash=1dfeb54a" onclick="showWindow('login', this.href)" 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<em>302</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon221239" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton221239">发表于 2004-12-29 20:25:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221239"> 2004年12月3日 星期五, 天气:雨 心情:如 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 微雨,淡淡的雨滴.天气暖得象初春.阳台上的那棵文竹,枯了一个枝丫. 即使温暖,也是冬天吧. 坐在椅子里喝白开水,一杯,再一杯.我想象着自己在水里沉溺,头发一样的海藻缠绕上来,不能呼吸. 无所事事,那么来听雨吧,听雨滴零落窗台的轻响.想我的那把兰花纸扇.然后带上门,走出去,去看看,冬天如何在细雨来临.依旧有青的草,只是没有花,也没有蝴蝶.更不见流水.我一边走路一边做梦.可是白天的梦,总也是苍白的. 在雨滴里走路,泥泞的也许不只是心情.不经意走过小四家楼下的时候我开始计算人生的偶然与必然.虽然我的数学出奇的差.然后我果然在买红豆奶的时候算错了价钱. 和一个没有见过的孩子讨论生死.这一线之隔,何其细微.最近总是以为死亡是一种特别的幸福.我想我真的病了.而且不轻.我不能放任自己如此厌倦. 夜了,窗外,依旧的雨.不停. 其实,我,没有心事. 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<em>303</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon221240" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton221240">发表于 2004-12-29 20:26:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221240"> 2004年12月5日 星期日, 天气:晴 心情:... <DIV align=right> </DIV> 幽静夸奖ZM的文字.我说真那么优秀么?可能是过于熟识,不辩好坏了.开始,好象开始也挺欣赏ZM,后来就成了只看玩笑.今天,我发现,ZM长大了.竟然长大了. 诗音里的故事接龙让我续成了狗尾巴,还给自己弄了块月牙形的胎迹.今天早上醒来,竟然挽袖子,想看看那块胎记的具体形状,我哪里有呀.我把自己陷在故事里了.我想人的思想真有趣. 昼,工作不特别忙碌,下了班,总觉得好象忘记了什么.女生在炫耀她的貂皮大衣.我用眼角扫了一下,和我小时候的兔子毛衣服也没什么区别. 至于回了我昨天半夜发给他的短消息.我窃喜了一会.在下班的车里又偷偷看了两遍,嘿嘿傻笑了一阵子.结果,收票员差点是从我身边绕着道过去的.要不是我塞到她手里一块钱,恐怕她都不敢朝我要车钱. 有时候,我把网络当成了生活. 这样不好,会陷入极度的空虚当中.</td></tr></table> </div> <div 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<em>304</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon221243" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton221243">发表于 2004-12-29 20:27:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221243"> 2004年12月6日 星期一, 天气:阴 心情:举手之间 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 北国冬日,阴,不见阳光.昨天在QQ上碰到光电的伟华兄,说南方如何温暖.暗夜里,眯起眼睛,想象,温暖,是什么样的感觉.习惯了寒冷,或者冰冷.说若他有机会来此,可以坐在一起喝酒.最近当真成了很毫爽的人物.总是说到酒. 或者开始喜欢那种微熏的错觉. 其实我只是喜欢对着月亮喝水,白开水.在一杯清冽里,清醒的看时光老去.听光阴流转,听风呼啸而过. 月下独舞,满地落花.残败也是幽雅. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 近,脾气极臭,简直到了臭不可闻的地步. 在病房里,给那个老大爷取下输液的时候,他的儿子从门口闯进来.从我手里夺过那个输液瓶子,嘴里不知道在叫嚣些什么.针尖离我的手指还有不过零点一公分的距离.我查看我的手,那男人不依不饶的口里不住说些什么,大至意思是那个瓶子是花了钱的.我不许拿走.我懒得和他抢,当然我要保护自己不受不必要的伤害.但是我要理论,那简直是一定的.我告诉他,按照国家规定,那个瓶子我必须取走. 然后他竟然说了句你TMD怎样怎样,不知道自己是干什么的.我沉默了很长时间,我在给另一个大爷饮食指导.那时,我抬了眼睛,淡淡地看了他一眼,我只说一句话,请你好好讲话.如若不能,那么,请你不必再说下去. 这便惹了他吧,你装什么装,你们TMD.... 又是TMD.我很平静,很平静的朝他走过去.我走到他面前,我看着他的眼睛,我说,请你,出去.他竟然顺势要推我.我就站在那里.不做任何退步.我想我正要用愤怒的眼睛看他.他竟然垂下手,呐呐的,我不跟你一般见识. 我胜利般扬起头.从他手里接过那个输液瓶子.简直是面带微笑的走出去. 我自认我不是一个文明人.我一向认为只有武办才可以从最根本解决问题.我一向认为脱了白大衣我也是一流氓. 我一向厌倦我的工作,除了那些非人性的管理,大概就是这类事情吧.</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_221243" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_221243"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition221243"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=221243&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', 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cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221244"> 2004年12月7日 星期二, 天气:睛 心情:斗鸡眼 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 我喜欢把问题缩小再缩小,直至变成一个点.然后盯着那个点死瞧.可能是事物由面到点之后使这个点的密度极大,所以即使我变成斗鸡眼对那个问题还是根本不能看的通透. 静的值夜班的夜,有那么点郁闷.不知道与近几天整夜整夜的失眠有没有偶然或者必然的联系.窗外漆黑的夜色里,没有一盏灯火,想起至于,想起L,他们象汽车的尾灯,在暗夜的头脑里穆然闪亮而后疾逝,变成小小的远去的亮点而这端的我,依旧斗鸡着眼睛.很多事情想不明白,不例如生命,生命太伟大了,我想不明白是常理.也不例如爱情,我的恋爱智商趋近于零.想不明白也是常理.例如什么呢?例如那些我想不明白的简简单单的事情,我不说它们是什么,它们实在太简单了,说了,一定要被别人笑话.而这已经足够证明我的白痴. 静的夜,值夜班.没有时钟的滴答声.老试的有着钟摆的古铜色壁钟叫已被时英或电子表取代.看表,三点五十九分.我想起,从前的凌晨三点里我那些在亦睡亦醒里的文字.那时,我坐在自家阳台里,手中握着笔,也是这样呵气成冰的时节么?我知道我已经生硬地丢弃了很多东西,并且再也找不回来,而后我就学会了调侃生活,有了些不足为外人道的智慧.把生死以离别看得很淡很淡. 可是,这夜,嗨你,对就是你,此时我在想你呢.我在想怎样的夏日,可以怎样的和你不撑伞的在雨中漫步而行,而远天有朵极其清淡的彩虹;我在想,这个冬天的某个月光明朗的月色里,可是和你相依,踏破夜的宁静.我甚至想到,我愿意在阳光和雨水里拥抱你,在时光的流转中和你走很长很长的平淡的路.静的夜,灯火都熄灭了.很明显的,我在胡思.我又在胡思,我喜欢胡思.就象喜欢你一样.虽然不是极端程度,但总不忍轻易罢手.我想我可以在胡思中得到一种微妙的乐趣,嗨,你,你知道不知道? 我又想起L.我在猜测他的圣诞会如何渡过.那个或许是属于他也或许是不属于他的国家,他现在又或者是将来如何?在那个本是异域的城市会怎样的安排这个泊来的节目.有没有小鸟一样的温柔女子.现在,我只有在特别沉静的时候才会偶尔想起他来.我一度认定此生不可能淡漠得了的男子.可是三年之后,当真把你忘记得通透彻底.回忆不起任何当初铭记的细节.淡了,淡了,我不必试着证明,只为我再也写不出那样缠绵悱恻的文字.我就知道了,它败在时光的对手中,并且一败涂地.当回忆不再,就已经没有怀念的容身之所.我不悲伤也不欣喜,只为它是那么自然的在光阴中走远.带走我以为是无望的思念的苦痛. 在日历的最后几而即将被撕破的时候,我猜测,这,也许,便是今年最大的获得.忘记一些故事,卸下一些包袱,可以更轻松的行走甚或可以旅行了.在川上舞,缤纷红袖乱着谁的眼,终于不是我的,除了我依旧隐约的希望着你的好.只是那样的时间竟然也在减少,而且早也没了曾经的热情.你说,我是不是在时光的渐离中长大了呢?又或者是成熟亦或衰老?还是衰老吧.我觉得苍老太矫情也太悲怆了.我觉得我还太年轻,不配承重那机关报沧桑.其实,我还很希望穿着简单的白衬衫在阳光的田野里奔跑,流很多很多的汗水,大声的哭或者笑,放纵的流泪以及悲伤,然后嬉笑怒骂.虽然我知道,那的确有些妄想,不妨妄想一下.我还打算24号给你E-mail.我想我依旧把你当成朋友,无关爱恨情愁如水的朋友.那么,你愿意么?你看,时间真的会改变很多东西,甚至消减,甚至溶解.甚至,消溶. 冬日的风,很细.前几天还在下雨.终于还不是很深的冬天.偶尔散步的去处,草依然在绿,青青的.我猜你应该想家了.好了,我不能总是写你,我身本里那个喜欢着至于的我要妒忌的.叶子说24号来抚,我想我不能让他来.非楠也说要来.我也不能允许.原因呢,主观上是想约会至于,虽然我知道我一定不会约会至于.客观上科领导让我主持科里的新年活动,而前几天我已经和你说了,我们的安排在24号.至于主持么,是新近才安排给我的.你看我很努力,在证明又或者是罢摆自己,我又开始努力的讨人喜欢.虽然我很有把握,那天我一定会让那个活动圆满的砸锅.不单单因为搭挡是DY,我对自己没有信心,丝毫没有,虽然我一直记着至于和我说,阳光总在风雨后,以及要对自己有信心什么的.我没做过那样的事,不过也无所谓,也不是谁都有当众丢脸被一干人等引为饭后谈资的机会. 我本来不想说了,可是我还得说.我知道这些话会被黑暗淹没.我最近很想醉酒,醉到晃晃忽忽才好.你知道我这是怎么了么?为这个奇怪的想法我变了无数次斗鸡眼,可是我还是没想明白.唉,你也不会明白. 对于至于我一直在假设之中,他们说生活是不能存在于假设之中的,我有点认同.他们还说,不能只看事物的某一个点,可是看重点而忽略不必要的细枝末节也不对么?于是,我试着分散我的目光,完了,我又低血压了!原来,我不能用斗鸡眼来看待生活,也不能用散点柔视法,除了偶尔的时候.</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_221244" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_221244"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition221244"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=221244&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', this.href)">回复</a> <a class="replyadd" href="forum.php?mod=misc&action=postreview&do=support&tid=6717&pid=221244&hash=1dfeb54a" onclick="showWindow('login', this.href)" onmouseover="this.title = ($('review_support_221244').innerHTML ? $('review_support_221244').innerHTML : 0) + ' 人 支持'">支持 <span 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</div> </td> <td class="plc"> <div class="pi"> <strong> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=6717&pid=221245" id="postnum221245" onclick="setCopy(this.href, '帖子地址复制成功');return false;"> <em>306</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon221245" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton221245">发表于 2004-12-29 20:28:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221245"> 2004年12月8日 星期三, 天气:晴 心情:随心所欲 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 只要越过雷池一步,你就能踏上乐土. ----这很符合我现在的状态. ----可是越过是生是死,是地狱还是天堂. ----是死而后生,还是绝地逢生. 这对于我,根本不是一个问题. 休息,十二点钟睡去,十二点钟醒来.如果不是窗外的阳光明媚的不象话的话. 醒来,第一件事不是上厕所,不是洗脸涮牙.是从被子里伸出因为最近的饥饿而显得有些枯瘦的爪子开电话.通常情况下,手机屏幕啪嗒一响,阵旧的固守的蓝屏跳起,窜出条不知道是来自哪里的短消息.这次是W,我想起来V和W说好本月八号(就是今天)来我的这个城市的那个破庙改成了13号.我不知道他们来,还是不来. 我在等待,极平静的等待.君子之交淡如水.淡如清水. 起床,翻了半天翻不到BRA.我记起好次上班就忘记了.被一同值班的女同事取笑,你,发育的跟七岁女娃子似的.穿什么BRA呢.倒不如去注些硅胶.免得老大不小找不到BF.反正休息,索了性不穿.奈何叠被时被我发现它躺在枕头下面. 要出门的时候,发现脸没有洗,而头发枯黄有如干草.我竟然对着镜子傻笑,此世,如此不拘小节之奇女子何去寻得? 把自己进行到底.随心所欲.</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_221245" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_221245"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition221245"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=221245&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', this.href)">回复</a> <a class="replyadd" href="forum.php?mod=misc&action=postreview&do=support&tid=6717&pid=221245&hash=1dfeb54a" onclick="showWindow('login', this.href)" 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我又想起,名医说,面对寂寞你就是寂寞,大抵如此. 幽静要做那个阑尾炎的手术.我竟然向往起来.当成了难得的丰富生命的体验.我想至于的刀法应该不错吧,虽然生疏了许多时日. 年底,忙的不亦乐乎.甚至开始失眠.保证每天一碗清水两个鸡蛋,还是常常头晕. 接二连三的检查与活动.本来与我没有关系,但是为了不知名的原因想要证明自己,竟然也异常忙碌起来.让一些人惊讶,包括我自己. 枝头的风,你抓不住,就要任它飞走. 也许所有努力不过是过眼云烟,他人嫁衣. 又如何? 生命,毕竟是. 来过, 看过, 努力过......</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_221246" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_221246"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition221246"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=221246&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', this.href)">回复</a> <a class="replyadd" href="forum.php?mod=misc&action=postreview&do=support&tid=6717&pid=221246&hash=1dfeb54a" onclick="showWindow('login', this.href)" onmouseover="this.title = ($('review_support_221246').innerHTML ? $('review_support_221246').innerHTML : 0) + ' 人 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</div> </td> <td class="plc"> <div class="pi"> <strong> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=6717&pid=221247" id="postnum221247" onclick="setCopy(this.href, '帖子地址复制成功');return false;"> <em>308</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon221247" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton221247">发表于 2004-12-29 20:29:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_221247"> 2004年12月11日 星期六, 天气:晴 心情:死水 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 陷在城市的夹缝里，难以自拨，陷在进退维谷的情绪里，难于全身而退． ——周六留言 很难得，在休息的早晨九点醒来。我在担心幽静的手术，我也想起来，依旧有一个无关自己的总结没有写，还有，还有，那些无聊到极至的节目没有准备。而眼看着时间在一日日逼近。他们说忙碌总好过无所事事。我心里并不这么认为。 我喜欢在黑夜里散步，坐在窗口发一天的呆，看着夕阳染红天边的云彩。 我一向是一个渴望安逸，厌倦繁劳的人。 本来可以轻松的过一个新年，窝在自己小小的空间里惬意的生活。不问世事，不计得失。可是竟然让自己忙碌起来。没有一点时间和空间。我在想此事的得与失，而后我知道，无论得失，我都已经失去，所有一切，都不能与时间匹敌。 一些想要突破生活现状的想法都被自己打翻，在我举棋不定的时候，我知道我会一直优柔寡断下去，不能改变。没有更好的方式，没有更好的出口。岁月如棱里老了容颜，枯了生命，瘦了季节。 或者我只能藏起我的秘密，将它深埋于泥土，没有生发，安静的死去。 工作依旧是工作，生活依旧要生活，所有的秩序都不会被牢骚打破。 哦，一切的一切。 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 幽静短消息,已经上手术了. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 突然悲伤,难以自持,这很不好. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 窗外阳光那么好,可是,我怎么只觉得喧嚣. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 昨日,夜半的电话和短消息没有接,也没有回复.他们,会不会烦恼? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 开始郁闷了,又开始郁闷了.一会儿和俺哥去吃牛肉板面去.色香味具佳的吃食. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 这个冬天常常下雨,北方,这个冬天,竟然,常常下雨,很反常吧?</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_221247" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_221247"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition221247"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a 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几乎位于这个城市的东的极至的十字路口横轴的左侧有家小店。极其不显眼，即使努力搜寻也会被人们在其它店铺的夹杂里忽略，它甚至除了个红面条的名字，再没有其它招牌。 兄自津返家后，总在叼念牛肉板面的事。好几次，说定了要去吃。今天，终于得了空闲。店，离有约车程一个小时，与我工作的地方颇接近。是兄在进修计算机时候觅得。那时他回来，与我说，城东有店，名曰牛肉板面，口味奇佳，天下无双，之类。于是垂涎美食，去过几次。果然不错，但总觉兄是夸大的。自兄离有便少去，偶尔想起，也不过做些思想活动。习惯了中午一电话，有人送餐的便捷。我计算着，自己极想去的并最终成行的，不过一或二次。 母亲说我与兄，贪吃鬼，为了顿午饭奔波半个城市。我倒无所谓，可以吃过饭直接夜班。而兄竟然执意要去，我总是不解。 去的时候，在琳琅的店铺中果然没有寻得那个地点．兄突然黯然起来．喃喃自语般，上次来的时候，服务员说老板回了故乡，现在恐怕用尽了汤与佐料，再不开了吧．恰好此时路边有一与那家店极相信的门脸，铁门紧闭．兄真的怅然起来，以后恐怕再也吃不到这家的面了．语气里透着浓汤般辛辣的忧伤．我也突然忧伤起来，好象被一直珍藏的什么东西抛弃，甚或被生命硬生生的抛离，胸口堵的厉害．正待悲伤，抬眼却见那红字招牌．失而复得般，简直是窃喜一样． 冲进店铺，一切依旧．老公牛队的集体照和墙壁上褪了色的时鲜水果…… 突然感动的热泪盈眶。 在林立的高楼中，那间似曾相识的小店，藏着一些不为外人道的秘密的快乐，甚至我自己也说不清楚，那店面和那店的老板都不知道。也许，只有我，只有我知道。你，知不知道？它是一些记忆。残留体。</TD></TR></TABLE></td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_222490" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_222490"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition222490"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div 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id="a_repent_222491" class="xi2" onclick="showWindow(this.id, this.href)"><img src="static//image/magic/checkonline.small.gif" alt="" /> 狗仔卡</a> </div> <div id="avatarfeed"><span id="threadsortswait"></span></div> </div> </div> <div> <div class="avatar"><a href="http://club.oecr.com/space-uid-10857.html" class="avtm" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.oecr.com/uc_server/avatar.php?uid=10857&size=middle" /></a></div> </div> </div> </td> <td class="plc"> <div class="pi"> <strong> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=6717&pid=222491" id="postnum222491" onclick="setCopy(this.href, '帖子地址复制成功');return false;"> <em>310</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon222491" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton222491">发表于 2004-12-29 20:30:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_222491"> 2004年12月13日 星期一, 天气:叶 心情:子 <DIV align=right><I>(作者:<FONT color=#a98e8d>端木若雨</FONT> 书写用时:<FONT color=#bb8c8a>1</FONT>分钟 被阅读:<FONT color=#bb8c8a>51</FONT>次)</I> </DIV> 你知道不知道，有一种东西叫命运。你知不知道，有一种东西叫际遇。你知道不知道，有一种东西是自我？ 叶子问起我一些陈年的旧事，我才突然想起。 并不想说什么，甚或解释。我只能说那句我说过很多次的话，生活也许不是用来生活，而是用来体验的。我只是想说体验无非是体验，无关原则。我只是想说，有一些标准我始终不会跨越，而我不想解释太多。 我想叶子应该懂了。如果这些年对我有足够的了解。 我甚至是有些艰难的打下这字。我甚至觉得我在解释。可是，有什么是值得解释的流言止于智者。 仰头，伸手，向天空。我突然释然，因为不论曾经还是现在，其实，什么都没有发生。你看我是一个很讲原则的孩子。我固守我的坚持。 夜风盈盈，人独立。如魅夜色，水清凉。 生命，总要有一些故事。 你，要懂得，也要明白，并且宽容对待：） 与别人与自己。 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 夜了，来发疯。 我打算对至于表白。嘿嘿。在二十四号之前，我不能这么折磨自己。古人有云，快刀斩乱麻。我也不过想试试自己的刀法。 幽静提供的表白攻略：某日，去找他。严肃认真表情。至于，我喜欢你。一天之后给我答复。然后转身下楼，不回头。但愿不要摔在楼梯上就好。 嘿嘿，我吧，觉得，这招不错。 而且幽静说，杀伤力９９.９９％</td></tr></table> </div> <div 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<em>311</em>楼</a> </strong> <div class="pti"> <div class="pdbt"> </div> <div class="authi"> <img class="authicn vm" id="authicon222494" src="static/image/common/ico_lz.png" /> 楼主<span class="pipe">|</span> <em id="authorposton222494">发表于 2004-12-29 20:33:00</em> <span class="pipe">|</span> <a href="http://bbs.oecr.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=6717&page=26&authorid=10857" rel="nofollow">只看该作者</a> </div> </div> </div><div class="pct"><div class="pcb"> <div class="t_fsz"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_222494"> 2004年12月15日 星期三, 天气:冷 心情:某人 <DIV align=right> </DIV> 某人姓冷,所以叫冷某人. 偶没记住冷某人名字,只能叫他冷某人. 我总是记不住一些人的名字. ——相亲实录 大了，老了，爸妈着急了。说俺，你再不努力找一人，恐怕就嫁不出去了。我暗自偷笑，那才好。单位同事电话，上次和你说的那个男生，你看是不看？ 我听见自己口齿非常清楚利索还干脆。只答了一个字。看！我一直知道，我并不能只为自己生活。我很想父母安心看我的幸福。虽然我一直不知道，我的幸福是什么。 下了班，单刀赴会那个男人。应该是男人吧，三十岁了。 形容一下？嗯。 眼镜，深蓝色细眶眼镜。大抵只记得这些。初见直视别人眼睛总是尴尬。我就盯着他的眼镜边看。这多好，不扭扭捏捏，还显得咱是社会主义新时代女性，有一定社交经验，不会一见男生就面红心跳，满脸发烧，俺是大家风范。俺还闲谈，俺竟然没有一点拘谨。 一个小时之后，话题在谈论被个个击破。开始沉默。我坐不住了，俺要回家。然后俺就回家了。俺还吃了不少东西。 隔会儿，同事电话。行不？ 他行不？ 他行啊，你呢？ 我呢？我呢？我呢？ 我考虑考虑。 …… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 夜,风静静沉默落满眼宣嚣. 其实早就看透了一些事情.我装做不知道.那么,至于,你知道么?是的,这是写给你的.我不调侃,我很认真. 是的,你知道,我也知道,我不会走到你面前,对你说我喜欢你.决对不会,那样的话,只能在云妨明月时候,自己玩笑.冬,也静静的,没有任何心思. 踏过一条清沏的水,而后,一切都流失了.幽静给至于起名字,叫大熊.很贴切吧.:) 其实,至于总不是从前的L.何况L早已淡出记忆.甚至找不到从前惦念.L也不再是L了. 喜欢是夏天的黄瓜,顶嫩黄的蕊,披微微的刺.内里清新.可是喜欢只是喜欢或者喜爱.象是物件,可以从左手移至右手. 不是我容易放弃.而是,我实在找不到坚持的理由.我不能任性的做一个一意孤行的傻孩子. 于,从开始的时候,我就知道.会是这个样子.</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_222494" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_222494"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition222494"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=222494&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', this.href)">回复</a> <a class="replyadd" 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cellpadding="0"><tr><td class="t_f" id="postmessage_222495"> 2004年12月16日 星期四, 天气:晴 心情:…… <DIV align=right> </DIV> 七楼阳台,迈出一步,你就会粉身碎骨. ——改自雷池 喜欢黑夜,象着了魔.在班驳的树影中穿行,身后,是我鬼魅一样的影子,月淡如水. 本来是不愿意这般现实的。我发现，其实我特别害怕现实里存在的和必须考虑的东西。我愿意就那么幼稚下去，不再长大。可是，我不能。 阳光很好但天气寒冷的冬。想走出去。感觉象是在突围。 不再有陈旧的故事。月光日日如新。象泉水般清冽。我把手掌握在脸上，在阳光里，象是在接受一场洗礼。可是总不能醍醐灌顶。我明白一些生活里的事，只是我不愿意把自己投入进去。我突然害怕起来，我觉得我特别不适合生活。真真正正的生活。 我知道我想说什么，可是我又不想说。如果能够从天空轻轻的下坠，身体象一个幽灵。没有落地，在风中消散那该有多好。 对于生活，我厌倦透了。可恶的是，依旧热切的爱着生命。</td></tr></table> </div> <div id="comment_222495" class="cm"> </div> <div id="post_rate_div_222495"></div> </div> </div> </td></tr> <tr><td class="plc plm"> </td> </tr> <tr id="_postposition222495"></tr> <tr> <td class="pls"></td> <td class="plc" style="overflow:visible;"> <div class="po hin"> <div class="pob cl"> <em> <a class="fastre" href="forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=123&tid=6717&repquote=222495&extra=page%3D264&page=26" onclick="showWindow('reply', this.href)">回复</a> <a class="replyadd" 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